Friday, February 21, 2014

A Dummy's Guide To Male Feminism

So you’re a guy. A nice, decent guy; you’ve got your head screwed on right. And you want to talk about feminism.

Look, it’s understandable. You’ve got all the feelz, all the opinions, and the sexist behaviour of some of your fellow men just makes you sad. Heck, some of your best friends are women.

But bro, there are a few things you’ve got to realise before you open your mouth.

You are not a feminist. This may come as a shock but there it is. Deal with it.

You are not a feminist. So important, I’m saying it again. That thing between your legs counts you out.

You’re barking up the wrong tree. It isn’t feminism that men should be talking about; it’s sexism. Let’s face it, the only reason feminism exists, the only reason it NEEDS to exist is because men have been sexist since day one.

It’s not about you. I mean really… what do you think you can add to a debate about feminism that hasn’t already been covered by, you know… females?

It’s really not about you. Hate to labour the point but here it is. Any guy who publicly stands up for feminism is looking for validation that they are not sexist. Simple as that.

It’s really, really not about you. Seriously bro, you need to understand this. Don’t hold yourself up as proof that “not all men are bastards” because the only people you’re proving it to is other men.

Zip it. The absolute best thing you can do. We blokes have been telling everyone what to do for so long that we don’t know how to stop. And the best of intentions don’t make it any less AAAARRRGGHHHHH-worthy. So shut up.

Pay attention. This is the tricky bit. Forget about sharing your feelz and try listening for a while. Mull it over, chew on it for a bit, see how it tastes. Chances are it’ll taste bitter for a while; it should.

You are not a feminist. I know, I’m repeating myself but this can take a while to sink in.

There’s a bunch of other stuff I could say but that pretty much sums it up. It’s not rocket science, gentlemen.

Want to talk about feminism?

Leave it to the experts.

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